Out Class Essay #1 Hers/Yours

Our Identities

        In the memoir Farmworker’s Daughter written by Rose Castillo Guilbault, she describes the story of her life from a young girl in Mexico to a grown up in California. She originally lived in Mexico and moved to California due to the divorce between her parents. Living in California, which was a brand new environment for Rose, also symbolized as an obstacle to her. She faced a lot of hurdles in terms of cultural and language differences when she first arrived in California. Yet through struggling with these challenges, Rose finds her identity and enables her to have a better sense of ‘self’. In her memoir, there are various agents of socialization which affect Rose’s identity and her character. Among all these agents, I found her mother, school and peer relationship the most influential agents on her. The various agents of socialization in Rose’s life have inspired me to ponder my agents of socialization and undoubtedly these agents have shaped and constructed my identity.

        

        Undeniably, Rose’s family background has definitely a crucial impact on shaping her identity. According to her memoir, Rose’s parents were divorced when her mother, Maria Luisa found out that her father, Tito was still keeping a close relationship with his ex-wife. Moreover, even in the time when their parents were not divorced, her father was always away due to business purposes. Therefore, Rose barely interacts with her father during her childhood and she certainly has a blur impression of her father. For instance, on page 11, Rose claims that ‘My father was away so much he was nothing more than a tall shadow in the doorway, an impatient voice in the dark.’ Accordingly, she depends on her mother more since she is the only one who takes care of her. Her mother becomes an essential role in her life and affects her in many circumstances. For example, in many occasions, when Rose is making decisions, her mother’s opinion represents an important factor. For instance, on page 153, when her mother found out that Rose and her friends are planning to go to the beach, she warned her that ‘Nice girls don’t go around walking with strange boys’. Although Rose really wanted to go to the beach, she chose to listen to her mom’s words and went home afterwards. In this way, it reveals that Maria was acting as an important role in Rose’s mind that her words or sayings can influence Rose’s decisions. Her mother’s beliefs or values has definitely shape her identity.

          

        Although my parents are not divorced as Rose’s family, my situation is quite similar to hers. As an illustration, my father is a doctor and he seldom spends his time at home. Thus, I have no one to rely on except my mom. Therefore, when I feel confused or frustrated and want someone to talk to, my mother would be glad to be my listener. Likewise, when I have trouble on making decisions, the first person I talk to is my mom. My mother is always willing to help me by providing valuable advices. For instance, when I am struggling on deciding to study abroad or    not, I had a long talk with her and she shares a lot of her opinions and views. Honestly, this really helps me as you can’t find another person who is willing to help you wholeheartedly and have the patience to hear your words. I would not be in the United States if I didn’t talk with my mom.

        Most importantly, I consider my mother one of my most fundamental agents of socialization is that she taught me how to be a good person. For example, she taught me that I should always be humble and never be arrogant. In addition, she told me not to be disobedient and ought to know what is right and wrong. These phrases may seem to be insignificant; they have guided me not to fall in the wrong way and have penetrated in my mind always. Although I am thousands miles away from my parents, their lessons and teachings have long lived in my heart; my identity will always be shaped by their beliefs and values.

        After their parents divorced, Rose came to California when she was five. California was a brand new environment for her. Simultaneously, it also represented a whole new challenge to her. Barriers such as language and culture differences have become serious obstacles to Rose. For instance on page 47, she acknowledges her confusion. ‘I lived in a world of confusion- the language, the kids, the culture spun around me like a vortex’. Due to the fact that she is lacked of English proficiency, she found it difficult to understand her teacher and communicate with others. Besides, once when Rose tried to play dolls with her classmates, she was embarrassed when she realized her classmates all brought Barbie dolls but hers is just a simple baby dolls. ‘I would not be invited to play with them again. Nor would I be invited to Mona’ or any of the other girls’ birthday parties’. (49) Obviously, the dissimilitude in terms of culture has caused her lack of friends and became alienated, which affect her identity that she might become a pessimistic person.

             

        Similar situation apply to me as well. I am an international student from Hong Kong and I have never been to the United States before. I first came to the United States in last year’s September. Like Rose, United States represent a new environment and present challenges to me simultaneously. Although I have learned English since primary school, I am still hesitated to talk and find it difficult to interact with the Americans. In many occasions, they speak so fast that I could not catch the words and felt embarrassed to request them to say the sentence again. Furthermore, I find it hard to express my feelings through English since I could not pick the right word to express my feelings. As a result, this kind of language differences has definitely hindered me from communicating from Americans. Frankly, I could not find a sense of belonging to this place during the first few months. Nevertheless, when I stay in the States for a longer time, I began to get used to their culture and started to improve my English. Despite meeting Americans, I started to make friends from different countries and it was then when I found my own identity and the sense of belonging.

        

        The upshot of all this is that despite culture and language differences, peer relationship is very significant in identity construction as well. For instance, Rose found she confused and lost when she is discriminated by her classmates due to language and culture differences. Without friends, Rose found herself as an ‘outsider’ in the United States. ‘It was great to be popular in Mexico by acting out being out an American, because in United States I certainly didn’t feel like one.’ (112). In conclusion, the lack of peer relationship has made Rose identify herself as an ‘outsider’ and lost the sense of belonging to the United States.

        Last but not least, after reading this book, it has really inspired me. Frankly, before reading this book, I know nothing about identity or what actually construct out identity. Nonetheless, this book has enabled me to explore, assess numerous agents of socialization and to identify which is the most significant in constructing our identity. Through relating Rose most influential socialization, her mother Maria and environment with mine, that is my mother and language differences, it made to have a better understanding in my own identity and to comprehend that various agents of socialization can influence our identity construction which accordingly affect our identity in the future.

Reflection: 

       Frankly, during the process of reading The Farmworker's Daughter, it has enable to me to have better understanding in numerous aspects. First of all, while reading The Farmworker's Daughter, it has made to ponder my situation and what actually shapes my identity. It has also enable me to have a better understanding of myself since I now know what actually shape who I am today. Moreover, Rose situation has also showed me that how brave she is, to stand up from all the difficulties, such as discrimination by her classmates. And I think that is definitely an important issue that I need to learn.

      Secondly, I think I also need to improve my proof reading skills. Since I have made serious mistakes in this essay, I think I need to be much more careful on my grammar. Also, my sentence flow is not smooth enough and intergrating quotes are also an essential issue that I need to work on. I hope I can really learn from these mistakes and can write a better essay next time.